Things dogs roll in

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If you have a dog you’ll already know the things dogs roll in or the disgusting smelly stuff they like to cover themselves in or eat. Foul smelling stuff, stuff which has come out of other animals backsides or stuff other animals have thrown up. Even stuff that’s died.

Okay I own up, this post isn’t just about the things dogs roll in but could be more precisely titled “Stuff my dogs roll in”. And believe you there’s some pretty disgusting stuff here as my (and other) dogs love to roll in foul smelling stuff.

For those non dog owners let me explain what I mean when I say “things dogs roll in”. Most dogs will roll in smelly stuff to mask their own smell from prey to make more effective hunters and there is nothing worse for an owner out on a walk than coming round to find their dog upside down rolling in something slimey, stinky, dead or downright revolting!

Most of the time when they are about to roll in something I manage to catch them, or they almost look at me to see if I’m looking but lots of times I miss the signs and catch them either during or after the dastardly event, so I thought I’d share a few of my “things dogs roll in” moments.

Things dogs roll in.

Cow poo is plentiful in the country, and I’m not talking the type talked in SW1A. I’m talking about the steaming flat watery thing you find all over the countryside. Dogs love to eat cow poo, and I’ve seen numerous dogs lick cow poo (usually to the horror of the person taking it for a walk). Some eat it as well and I’ve seen ladies from the local posh village fall into a bouts of hysteria when Mr Snuggles, the miniature French bulldog has slipped his crystal encrusted collar and proceeded to chow down on cow shit. I honestly thought one woman was going to have a heart attack.

Mr Snuggles is a bad little boy 😀

Fox poo is my dog’s favourite. Only common in certain areas but my dogs seem to seek it out like an Exocet missile. If your dog smells bad after a walk in the countryside this is probably what its rolled in.

Even if you’re in the city there is still fox poo around from Urban foxes and its not always in the green spaces, sometimes it can be right outside your house!

Dead fish is another one of my dogs favourites especially because I live near a canal but the same applies for a lake or the sea. Now you’re probably wondering how do dogs find dead fish when fish live in water and dogs live on land. From experience usually and they find fish that have been left by Fisherman, have died and floated to the side of a body of water or have been washed ashore. We get quite a few on the canal and within 2 weeks I had 2 fish rolling incidents.

No 1. I am walking to Macclesfield and the dogs disappeared into the hedgerow for a split second and as I caught them up I am greeted by my eldest dog upside down on top of a common perch which had obviously been there for several days with a really overpowering odour of decaying flash. I manage to make him stop and send him away only to turn round and see my younger dog doing exactly the same. This doubly bad because she wears a Julius harness most of the time outside, she’s a puller, and this dead fish is not only matted into the fur on her neck and back but theirs bits of dead fish matted into the Velcro part of the harness. <blugh!>

My dogs were forced at finger point to take several swims in the canal to wash it off, something which I had a 50% success of getting out. We carry on our walk but they had to wait outside Teggs nose tea rooms, well away from the door if we’re honest, while I ordered cake and a drink for the walk back home. Took me 3 goes to get the smell of fish out of my dogs and industrial disinfectant to get the smell out of the harness.

No 2. I was a walking round one of the local reservoirs and my eldest dog, swam out retrieved, rolled in and then ate a dead fish he’d spotted. Again an absolutely disgustingly rotten piece of fish. As I’d gone up the the Goyt valley in the car I had to load him into the back (this is a new car BTW) all the back is covered but the smell!!!

14 miles with my head out the window. The younger dog got to ride in the front that day on my nice warm coat. She thinks she got rewarded for not rolling in the dead fish, but don’t tell her but she was in the front because I knew she’d rub herself up against the older dog. Secondary transfer! not as bad as first contact but just as smelly!

Taking the dead fish to the next level, how about a Dead seal?

Holywell bay in Cornwall in 2011. We are down on the beach early one morning in the middle of winter and its blowing a gale, the seas are rough and theres a dead seal on the beach. What did my dogs do, yes they rolled on it. Luckily it wasn’t badly decomposed so the smell was easy to remove.

BUT….

Things dogs roll in.


They rolled on a dead whale!!!!

Porthcurno in May of 2013. I was down on the beach the day after a storm. A beautiful day in Cornwall, and you wouldn’t have known there’d been a storm last night. You know blue skies and flat calm seas.

So we get to the top of the beach and there is no one there, its early morning about 8am. So we let the dogs of the lead and off they race down the beach, which after the storm has small dunes as it rolls down the beach. They disappear from sight for 2, maybe, 3 minutes you get to thinking, “where’s the dogs?”

Queue the horror!!! I crest the last dune to see two medium size dogs with their feet in the air doing the dying fly dance on top of a dead minke whale. Mortified! When I say this thing was putrid it was vile. My dogs are covered in it now as well 🙁

Dragged them in the sea and tried to wash it off but it needed soap and that’s one thing not on my list of “things to take on a dog walk”.

Back up the beach, in the car and back to the Holiday cottage I’m staying in. I spent nearly 3 hours washing and pruning their fur to remove bits of dead minke whale and the smell remained in their fur for about 3 weeks after.

What the people who owned the cottage must have thought after I’d left thought as I’m sure it smelt inside, even after cans of air freshener and the windows open 24/7.

Dead fox is one of the worst animals my dogs have rolled in but only because they burst its intestines. I don’t know what foxes eat but their stomach contents smell like its had been dead a long time before it ate it.

They’ve also rolled in Dead Mice, Dead Frogs, Dead Badger, Dead Rabbit and Dead WTF is that!

So all the above are smelly things the dogs only usually get on part of them. They stink but what they’ve rolled in its usually around the neck or back area but if you want to got for coverage you need, Slurry!

“Slurry?”, yes Slurry! The stuff that is swept off the floor of cattle falms, collect into storage silos and eventually showered over the farms crop fields as manure. I know that in certain countries “Slurry” is what you call liquid cement, so heres the proper English definition of slurry if you don’t know what I mean.

I was at a customers one day, who’s a farmer. I’d only taken my dogs as his wife is a big doggie person and said she’d like to meet them.

When I got there they had the run of the yard which is now empty and secure after milking was finished, but 30 seconds later and they are both rolling around in the watered down cleanings of the mornings cattle herd which are waiting to be pumped into the slurry tank.

Honestly, I burst into laughter as they were both covered had to toe in cow poo. And I mean head to toe.

My dogs are quite fluffy and it stuck to them all over and you could just make out where their eyes and mouth were but not much else!

As I was still on the farm, the farmer helped me to wash the slurry off with the hose pipe and luckily not too smelly but nonetheless still revolting.

So there you have it folks, a few examples of the things dogs roll in. I am sure I will add to this page as time goes on as the dogs are still fit and able and I am sure they roll in anything stinky sometimes just to annoy me.

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