I was reading this article, “7 Ways to Annoy a Flight Attendant” and was thinking about all the times i’ve flow and had to put up with crappy service or other such things from Flight Attendants, on flights i’ve had over the past 10 years.
So, in response have put together my own top 7. A “Top 7 of ways Flight Attendants annoy us, the passengers”.
1. Treat passengers like cattle
Passengers must be strictly controlled and corralled into their individual pens (seats) at all times. Do not allow them to wander around the plane, even if they are on a 12 hour flight and repeatedly tell them “You must sit down”. Even if they are stood in a queue for the toilet and especially if there are more than 2 people already waiting.
Lufthansa get my vote as the worst for this, flown with them twice and both times was like Stalag luft Airlines. “You MUST szit dhown! or you vill be for ze cooler!”
Serve food which is no better than slops, is stone cold, or cooked to the point of incineration. Truly some airline food should have a label stating “Not fit for Human or Animal Consumption”. No wonder people choose not to have the airline food on holiday flights!
3. Control through threats of arrest
Tell the passengers that if they dont tow the line, which can be anything from not abiding to no.1 to complaining about no.2. Threats such as “if you dont behave we will have to divert to the nearest airport and you will be arrested” WTF!
I’ll also add that some British airports are the same now a days as well. Dont talk back to staff, even if their wrong, do as we say (even if its stupid), go where we tell you or the police will be called and we’ll arrest your ass!
4. More interested in earning commision
From selling the crappy airline tat from the inflight Magazine. This is more prevelent on Holiday flights, and the sales patter of some airline flight attendants does make me wonder if there was an emergency would they still carry on with the hard sell? Even as the plane plummets earthward or as people are fighting to exit the plane down the emergency slides, would they still be trying to sell bottles of perfume and spirits? “Would you like to buy a bottle of Chanel No.5 to go with your life jacket, sir?”
5. Electronic Gizmos
Getting absolutely hysterical over people using electronic items, such a laptops. A common excuse i’ve heard time and time again is “It may interfere with sensitive equipment on the plane”.
“So its already switched on and i’ve been using it for 10 minutes, do you not think the plane would have malfunctioned if this was the case?”.
Also do you not think the interference from millions of mobile phones near airports would cause planes to crash as they flew overhead if this where true. Picture a plane flying over the sea and as soon as it gets within view of a mobile phone mast it plummets 35,000ft horizontally to the group, ala cartoon style!!!
Failure to capitulate is usually backed up with threats of number 3. I’ve even been told to turn off a old 35mm SLR camera by a Stewardess as it “might affect the aircraft” when I pointed out it didnt have an on/off she snorted “Just put it way and dont argue!” So proving a point I think.
6. Breathe my perfume
Yes, we all like to smell nice and yes, we’ve all just spent 12 hours on a plane but if you want to smell nice, covering your body in gallons of Chanel no 5 is not as good as you think it is. The air in the cabin smells bad enough after a 12 hour flight, its also contains very little oxygen (Due to cost cutting measures). So adding Chanel fumes to the mix doesnt make it any better. I swear i’ve been able to taste Chanel for days after flying back from Japan. British Airways has my vote for the stongest perfume odour.
7. “I’m sorry you must return to your OWN seat”
This is just pathetic. What difference does it make if you are on a plane where half the seats are empty and you decide to move to an empty row of seats where you can get your head down and get some sleep?
Really what difference does it make? Tell me? Seriously someone who’s a flight attendant tell me?
The only people to who is would make any difference is the Aircraft Accident Investigators who’s job would be made considerably easier if the plane crashed and we where all sat bolt upright in the correct/our own seats. Other than that, why?
If anything it makes your job, as the steward/stewardess much easier, as i’m asleep and as such wont be bothering you any time soon. Again, British Airways gets my vote on this.
At the end of the day if flight attendants dont like the things customers do then why are they in the industry? There are plenty of worthy people out there willing to take your place.
There was a time when airline passengers where treated with respect and diginity.
Sure some customers are difficult but that doesnt mean you tar all customers with the same brush, thats like me saying the above applies to all cabin crew, which I know not to be true from very personal experience!
And for all those thinking you get treated better in Business or First Class, you might do but its not by much. Sure in first class you might be sat in a £3500 seat but youre still subject to all the above except you get to drink Champagne and sit in a comfier seats and breathe Chanel No.5 for the duration of the flight!