This is a real “Computers not working” call to a real IT support desk.
Ring Ring, “Hello help desk, What’s the nature of the problem?”
Its not working
“Sigh! let me get my magic wand out along with my wizards hat!”
“What is the problem with your computer?”
ITS NOT WORKING!!!!
“Okay, obviously my magic hat and wand aren’t going to be enough to solve this mystery, let me see if I can read your mind or perhaps I should grab my crystal ball. Ommmm, I see lights in the distance but no one appears to be home! What is the computer doing or not doing?”
I told you, ITS NOT WORKING!!!
“Have you turned it on?”
Of course I have, do you think I’m stupid?
You’re not being very helpful, can you help me?
“Well you haven’t actually told me what’s wrong with it yet!”
ITS NOT BLOODY WORKING!!!!!!!
“Sigh! When you go to the Doctors do you just walk in and say “I’m ill” and let the Doctor guess what’s wrong?”
No, what, what are you talking about?
“That’s exactly what your asking me to do, w h a t e x a c t l y i s y o u r PC d o i n g w h i c h i s w r o n g?”
Its not a PC it a Laptop!
“FFS! What exactly, in as much details as humanly possible is wrong with your computer other than “its not working?” Particulars, details, information please!”
Er, the pointer thing on the screen isn’t moving when I move my mouse
And people wonder why IT support people are sarcastic and have little or no patience for any PC user!